Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (Scott Evil)
Dr Evil: "Hello, Scott."
Scott: "Hi."
Dr Evil: "I'm your father, Dr. Evil."
Scott: "I haven't seen you my whole life, and now you come back and expect a relationship? Hmph. I hate you."
 
Group Leader: "So, Scott, why don't we start with you. What brings you here with us today?"
Scott: "Well, I just really met my dad for the first time five days ago."
Dr. Evil: "I was partically frozen his whole life.
Group Leader: "That is beautiful that you can admit to to that."
 
Scott: "He comes back and...and now he wants me to take over the family business."
Dr. Evil: "But Scott, who's going to take over the world when I die?"
 
Group Leader: "So, what do you want to do Scott?"
Scott: "I don't know, I was thinkin' I like animals... maybe I'd be a vet."
Dr. Evil: "An evil vet?"
Scott: "No, maybe like work in a petting zoo."
Dr. Evil: "An evil petting zoo?"
Scott: "YOU ALWAYS DO THAT!!!"
 
Scott: "I just think, like, he hates me. I really think he wants to kill me."
Group Leader: "Now Scott, we don't want to kill each other in here. We might say that we do sometimes but we really don't."
Group laughs.
Dr. Evil: "Actually the boy is quite astute, I really am trying to kill him but so far unsuccessfully, he's quite wiley like his old man."
 
Dr. Evil: "How was your day?"
Scott: "Well, my friend, Sweet Jay, took me to that video arcade in town, right, and they don't speak english there. So Jay got into a fight and he's all, 'Hey stop hasselling me 'cause I don't speak french or whatever.' and then the guy says something in Paris talk and I'm like, 'Just back off!' and they're all, 'Get out!' and we're like, 'Make me!' It was cool.
 
Scott: "Why don't you just shoot them now? I mean, I'll go get a gun, we'll shoot them together. It'll be fun. Bang. Dead. Done.
Dr. Evil: "One more peep out of you and you are grounded mister and I mean that."
 
Dr. Evil: "Kill the little bastard, see what I care."
Scott: "But dad, we just had a breakthrough in group."
Dr. Evil: "I had the group liquidated, you little shit. They were insolent."
 
Scott: "I hate you! I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab!"

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (Scott Evil)

Dr. Evil: "When the moon reaches its appropriate linear alignment, it will destroy Washington DC. You see, I've turned the moon into what I like to call a 'Death Star' "
Scott: [laughs]
Dr. Evil: "What?"
Scott: "Aah, nothing Darth"
Dr. Evil: "What did you just call me?"
Scott: "Nothing, [fakes sneeze] Rip off "
Dr. Evil: "Bless you."
 
Scott : If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something?
Dr. Evil : No, no, no.
 
Dr. Evil : As you know, every diabolical scheme I've hatched has been thwarted by Austin Powers. And why is that, ladies and gentlemen?
Scott: Cuz you never kill him when you get the chance, and you're a dope?
 
"How could you do this to me? on national television!"
 
Jerry Springer guest- "Hey what are you? Some kind of freak?"
Scott- "Hey! Shut up. *beep* off!
Dr. Evil- "Okay..okay"
Jerry Springer guest- "I could kick your a*beep*
Scott- "Hey bring it on you skanky *beep* !
 
Dr. Evil- "Why make trillions when we could make...billions?"
Scott- "A trillion is more than a billion numbnuts."
 
Dr. Evil- "We shall call it.... the Alan Parsons project."
Scott- "Oh my god"
Dr. Evil- "What now?"
Scott- "The Alan Parsons project is a progressive rock band in 1982. Why don't you just call it Operation Wang Chung, ass."
 
"Great plan Einstein. Well you're gonna put him in a cell with one inept guard and they'll escape. God you do this every time!"